Are you truly excited to see your child grow and blow your mind?… In ANY possible ways?
Do you welcome their weirdness/uniqueness with curiosity? Do you know that your child won’t be the one you raised or are raising to become? I can promise you that. And it’s actually not your responsibility to make them become anybody. You can take that off your shoulders right now.
Deep breathe. Ask yourself if you want your child to become a conformist obedient human or an open minded free leader? Do you want them to spend their life chasing their dreams or someone else’s?
Recently I caught myself thinking “what is going on with my child? I didn’t raise him like that?” And it echoed very LOUDLY in my head. So I paused and gave it some thoughts and more thoughts. And more thoughts. Until I realized I had it completely wrong.
I had EXPECTATIONS! Expectations for my children to become who I raised them for. WOW. It blew my own mind.
I can give them my tools & guidance, show them confidence, courage & compassion, I can share my values, my lessons & my experiences, I can love them to the moon & back, pray for their health and teach them all I know about life but ultimately, it is their life. They will create the life they want using the teachings that resonate with THEM. That’s my wish for them. I wish my parents had the same wish for me.
I cannot wait to see what they build, who they inspire, how they change the world, my world. I, for sure, will play a role in the way they open their heart, learn, grow and shape their mind but I also know that they’ll learn more from my own and authentic actions & reactions than anything I say – the way I live my life, how I dance when no one’s watching, the way I respond to my challenges, their mistakes and our struggles as a family. That’s why we should all take care of ourselves first, learning before teaching. We can’t give what we don’t have. Do you love yourself unconditionally?
My vision is one in a billion. Theirs is unique too. Forcing my vision on them is a mistake. It can only create frustration on both ends and send them the message that I love them under the condition that they become who I am expecting/hoping them to become… Yikes!
Our mission, as parents, is to love our children exactly the way they are, create space for their dreams to grow, help them figure out who THEY want to be in this world, give them the faith to believe they can achieve anything, the confidence to live passionately and the courage to create the life they want. “Give them roots and wings”.
Today I know that my role as a mother is to work on myself to become the best version of myself and teach them how to make informed choices – not to replicate my choices, but to make their own. Their choices won’t necessarily be mine. But that will be ok. More than ok. It will be awesome.
They will “succeed” the day they love and believe in themselves, the day they find their own unique drive, whatever IT is. Allow them to go for it. Teach them about growth, opportunities and second chances. Tell them there is NOTHING they can’t do. Your unconditional love is their magic carpet.
Confidence is everything.
They can do it without you but it will be much better with you.
Get excited for their differences. Get ready for their mistakes. Because when they fall and mess up, they need your unconditional love to find the courage to take the next step towards success: more mistakes, more uniquenesses. Growth is uncomfortable and sometimes painful. They need you most when they go through discomfort and pain – so precisely when they make you mad, frustrated and disappointed. You can change the pattern. You can choose understanding over anger, compassion over frustration, progress over perfection, value trials, growth, courage. You can. You already love them unconditionally.
If your child has a different vision, sexual orientation, understanding of things than you, style, dreams, lucky you: your life just got more exciting! You have more to learn, more to discover, more to experience. Your child is expanding your world and will become your teacher.
Love without conditions.
Do not tame them. Watch them blossom with excitement. Welcome the adventure. Your child isn’t you. That is their superpower. And their gift to you.
“I love you and I can’t wait what to see what you do with your life.”
To lead the way, only one thing to do: BE who YOU want to be.
What are you afraid of?
And if you don’t know where to start, book a Yoga class.